Pregnant actress Alyssa Milano recently tweeted to her fans about how offensive some comments people make can be to pregnant women. We hear this kind of thing from our patients all the time. People assume all kinds of things, most of which are silly myths. They think they are being helpful or kind, but don’t realize the negative impact it can have on the pregnant woman and her own fears or anxiety.
One of the worst things people can do to a pregnant woman is comment on the size of her belly. People either remark, “Oh you’re so big — are you going to deliver any day?” or “You must be carrying twins,” or “You are so small, something must be wrong with your baby.” Expecting mothers come into the office horrified that either their baby is too big or too small. As obstetricians we have a way to measure the size of your baby and determine whether the baby is growing well. We measure the fundal height of the mother which is a measurement taken from the pubic symphysis to the top of the uterus called the fundus. After 20 weeks the size corresponds with about one centimeter per week. So at 24 weeks your fundal height will measure 24 cm. Every body is different so your fundal height may vary based on how much abdominal fat you have. Even with this the fundal height should change per week. If the fundal height doesn’t change or changes too much it can signify a growth problem with the baby. An obstetric ultrasound can then be ordered to more accurately asses the size of the baby.
So bottom line — please disregard the inappropriate comments of unaware people who do not have any idea of how big your baby is or what is “normal.” Rely on your doctor for sound feedback on your belly size. And to those who are not pregnant — keep your opinions about the size of a woman’s belly to yourself. If you want to say anything, say something nice, unassuming, and completely unrelated to belly or baby size, like, “Congratulations! How are you feeling?”
